Captain's Log. Day 14 at Sea. 0:1500 hours. The Rooster Crows at Dawn.
Day 14 at sea after a successful occupation of Tahiti and Bora Bora and discovery of the TWO most beautiful places on earth, we return to the ship to more of the same. Passengers and crew alike simply cannot believe their eyes as the Asian ping pong table occupation crosses the two week mark. Staff have taken it upon themselves to set a special buffet and napkin folding demonstration nearby so the ping pong champions can continue uninterrupted while not missing out on all the ship has to offer. There are even rumors that the Princess singers and dancers are planning a ping pong themed can-can to preform atop the tables as the heated matches no doubt continue around them. As the world waits on the edge of their seats for new developments on this continuing saga, we will continue to provide the latest updates as they unfold.
In other news, women on the ship (myself included) have successfully staved off come-ons from men twice our age by enlisting the help of the resident DJ and a series of complex hand signals and facial expressions (such as mouthing the word "help" and waving) As we continue to enlist the assistance of various passengers and crew members on what seems to be an increasingly daunting task, we will continue to develop code words for "rescue me". Such as "the rooster crows at dawn." Or: "i think I'd like a latte."
Captain signing off. Over and out for now. More updates to follow.
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Thursday, October 4, 2012
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Monday, October 1, 2012
Captains Log. Day 11 at Sea. 0 11 hundred hours. Mutiny on the Bounty.
Captains Log. Day 11 at Sea. 011 hundred hours. Mutiny on the Bounty.
As we turn the page on the 11th day at sea, with no sign of the Asian ping pong table occupation abating, crew, staff and passengers are becoming increasingly anxious as dining staff move tables outside in order for the Asians to eat whilst continuing their hard core competition. This unfortunate development can only mean one thing. We MAY have a mutiny on our hands as various factions of crew and guests continue occupations of their own in protest.
Greeks are busy occupying the casino with newfound ferver, while Brits occupy the shit out of afternoon tea, having effectively blocked all access to cucumber sandwiches and petifours. The ship's security has attempted to break these blockades unsuccessfully with the use of olive oil spray and baguettes but the Brits are not backing down. Aussies continue to occupy the pool and have spread their occupation to include all four hot tubs and even the sauna. No one is safe from their uncontrollable disdain for US sports and Americans are repeatedly forced to acknowledge that we have way too many commercials. Only time will tell how this growing protest unfolds but we will be sure to report back with the latest breaking developments.
In other news, we crossed the equator relatively unscathed with only minor injuries (to our pride and dignity) by being doused with whip cream by a man dressed up as a Greek goddess. When in Rome...
I have also met North America's largest distributor of black pearls, located right in my own backyard in Midtown Manhattan. Interesting guy, his son is a member of the band Anthrax and his daughter in law is the daughter of Meatloaf! So he and Meatloaf are grandfathers together. Joked about naming the kid meatball (can't make this shit up). Exchanged cards to see what sort of deals we can make for a supply of black pearls for my now growing jewelry line. A very useful connection indeed.
Captain signing off. Over and out for now. More updates to follow.
As we turn the page on the 11th day at sea, with no sign of the Asian ping pong table occupation abating, crew, staff and passengers are becoming increasingly anxious as dining staff move tables outside in order for the Asians to eat whilst continuing their hard core competition. This unfortunate development can only mean one thing. We MAY have a mutiny on our hands as various factions of crew and guests continue occupations of their own in protest.
Greeks are busy occupying the casino with newfound ferver, while Brits occupy the shit out of afternoon tea, having effectively blocked all access to cucumber sandwiches and petifours. The ship's security has attempted to break these blockades unsuccessfully with the use of olive oil spray and baguettes but the Brits are not backing down. Aussies continue to occupy the pool and have spread their occupation to include all four hot tubs and even the sauna. No one is safe from their uncontrollable disdain for US sports and Americans are repeatedly forced to acknowledge that we have way too many commercials. Only time will tell how this growing protest unfolds but we will be sure to report back with the latest breaking developments.
In other news, we crossed the equator relatively unscathed with only minor injuries (to our pride and dignity) by being doused with whip cream by a man dressed up as a Greek goddess. When in Rome...
I have also met North America's largest distributor of black pearls, located right in my own backyard in Midtown Manhattan. Interesting guy, his son is a member of the band Anthrax and his daughter in law is the daughter of Meatloaf! So he and Meatloaf are grandfathers together. Joked about naming the kid meatball (can't make this shit up). Exchanged cards to see what sort of deals we can make for a supply of black pearls for my now growing jewelry line. A very useful connection indeed.
Captain signing off. Over and out for now. More updates to follow.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Captains Log. Day 9 at Sea. 02 hundred hours. We Cross the Equator and There's No Turning Back.
Captains log. Day 9 at Sea. 02 hundred hours. We Cross the Equator and There's No Turning Back.
And appropriately are participating in an equator crossing ceremony that may or may not involve having food thrown at us. Only time will tell but we have been instructed to wear a bathing suit. Passengers have offered to videotape / take photos and tag us on Facebook. So we got that going for us, which is nice.
In other news, yours truly has managed to score a captain's hat from a fellow passenger nice enough to allow me to borrow it (ie. steal it). So the captain of the Sea Princess now has competition. An ADDED bonus: people now address me as "Oh captain my captain" and respond to orders with "aye aye captain!" while saluting, of course. This new and important development is working out very well, indeed....
Captain signing off. Over and out for now. More updates to follow.
And appropriately are participating in an equator crossing ceremony that may or may not involve having food thrown at us. Only time will tell but we have been instructed to wear a bathing suit. Passengers have offered to videotape / take photos and tag us on Facebook. So we got that going for us, which is nice.
In other news, yours truly has managed to score a captain's hat from a fellow passenger nice enough to allow me to borrow it (ie. steal it). So the captain of the Sea Princess now has competition. An ADDED bonus: people now address me as "Oh captain my captain" and respond to orders with "aye aye captain!" while saluting, of course. This new and important development is working out very well, indeed....
Captain signing off. Over and out for now. More updates to follow.
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