Monday, April 16, 2012

This Just In: Re: Sidney Crosby. Now Even George Thorogood is a Flyers Fan. Sorry Pittsburgh.


Examining Why Sidney Crosby is Such a Bitch

Screen Shot 2012-04-16 at 12.31.40 AMSidney Crosby after Game 3:
Q: When you knocked Voracek’s glove on the ice and hit it away was that just out of frustration?
“I don’t like any guy on their team there. It was near me and he went to pick it up and I pushed it.”
Q: Why don’t you like them?
“I don’t like them, because I don’t like any guy on their team so.”
Q: The fighting and such was that you trying to spark their team a little bit?
“Yea, guys are emotional and there is a lot of stuff going on out there. There is no reason to explain. I don’t have to sit here and explain why I pushed a glove away they are doing a lot of things out there too. You know what, we don’t like each other. Was I going to sit there and pick up his glove? What was I supposed to do?”
Q: You could skate away.
“Skate away? Oh well I didn’t that time.” 

It’s hard to put into words how much of a bitch Sidney Crosby is, but the Penguins’ captain just did a pretty good job of it.
As so eloquently described by Chris Therien on the Flyers radio broadcast, Crosby was in the middle of - or started - nearly every skirmish that occurred in Game 3. For real, he was everywhere. Like if Kristen Wig’s Gilly was a hockey player, only without being funny or curiously hot. Just everywhere, startin’ shit-- that’s Crosby. And not in that oh, I’d love to have that guy on my team way, but in that that guy is going to get one of us killed way. 
Two sequences come to mind: the first period scrum that ensued following Crosby taking three two-handed whacks at Ilya Bryzgalov’s glove, and the third period fraces (that’s a combination of fracas and feces-- see also: shitstorm) that he escalated to an absurd level.


Also, this just in: even George Throughgood & The Destroyers are Flyers Fan.  Bad to the Bone, Philly Style.  See Below.



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