Come in Steve Jobs. Come In Steve Jobs. God here. Still Searching for Soul (and MY iPAD4). Steve? You There? Steve??

Earth, er heaven to Steve, Steve your empire in the sky would like his friggin iPad4 and SOUL back!  For the love of christ, er me.  Why do you never text me back????  PS, Steve you cracked the back of my iphone last night.  So rude.

Who's the rudest dude out there?  Hint: Steve Jobs.  Stole my goddam, er me-damn soul and ipad4.  WTF

What's your clearance Clarence?  What's your Vector Victor? Steeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeee?

Your maker would like his ipad 4 and soul, Steve.  What the shit?  Steve?  Come on!!!!!

Ok, Steve, enough of this.  Do I look like I just fell off the turnip truck????  This is NOT my first rodeo, my friend.
PS. Steve, for the love of god, er me, cut you goddamn, shit me-damn toe nails if you're gonna continue to be the biggest
bed-hog in heaven, er Steve Job's empire in the sky.  Please just return my soul already.  Will grant you eternal redemption and ecstasy.  Just like in college.  Remember??  Buzz???????  Capital ballroom?  Friday nights?  SE DC????Remember the good ole days?  Rave the bay, Steve.  Rave the f ing bay.  And return my ipad and soul at your earliest convenience.  Thank you.  Sincerely, Your Maker.