Steve Jobs Taunts God. "Borrowed" His iPAD4 and Soul. Not Returning Them, Nor His Calls.

Dear Steve Jobs,

I do not appreciate you leaving these taunting advertisements on my homescreen.  Please cease and desist making your maker quite angry.  It's seriously NOT FUNNY anymore.  I'm stuck using my old Dell desktop like a loser because you've run off with my iPad4, not to mention my SOUL.  

Your Lordeth is sick and tired of selling His soul for whatever it is his Lordeth's little heart desires.  I'd really love it if you gave it back.  Can I buy it back?  Name your price.  

WTF??  NOT FUNNY!

How about: eternal redemption suit your fancy?  Can I woo you with: entrance to the pearly gates of your empire in the sky that you sometimes like to share with the Lordeth when you're not stealing his iPad, his soul and hogging the goddamn (oops, I always DO this) ME-Damn bed and scratching the lordeth with your too long toenails that you refuse to cut, ON PURPOSE?  Steve, a little grooming goes a long way.

Steve, you're really starting to piss me off.  I will strike down upon thee with great vengance and furious anger, if you do not return my ipad4 and soul at your absolute earliest possible friggin convenience, Steve.  And try returning my text msgs sometimes, your lordeth gets impatient.  Jeez.

Sincerely,

Your Extremely Annoyed Lordeth and Creator