Captains Log: Day 1, 21 hundred hours. We EMBARK! Setting a course for Sanity and Reason. The land we remember like it was yesterday (two weeks ago). Meanwhile, Neil Diamond divides US. (NOT so good, so good, so good, so good...)
Whelp it's day one of our mission to set sail for greener pastures...of those days in the not to distant history (pre in Inauguration Day) of logic, reason, love and understanding. And we want them back! So we embark! Sail away. For what's right! (er left) and leave reality behind...Never coming back to the "reality" (TV) of the current state of affairs. Cause reality bites, 'MEMBER?
Yes, my dear friends, we have given up the ghost, as it were, and all but abandoned the American Titanic (Aka: ship to insanity) for another ship...one that with any luck is sailing to the land of reason. As we rearrange deck chairs (and ping pong tables) on what might be yet another doomed voyage, we realize we are ALL on the same boat (note: not SANE boat...nope that boat left at about the same time the Kardashians became more popular than civility, mutual respect and intellectual debate).
With credible reports of Trump & Friends' success in smuggling their motley crew aboard disguised as oranges with bad toupees, we must remain vigilant to ensure that they do not thwart our well laid out plans (of eating everything in sight while napkin folding exact replicas of the pre war White House, sans gold lamee and neon flashing Trump signage).
What have we learned thus far into our voyage? There are two types of people in this ship. Those who like Neil Diamond...and those who don't. As passengers and crew alike wonder whether the band will ever stop playing "Sweet Caroline", battle lines are being drawn. What has been deemed the Opposition Party (those who do not like Neil Diamond) has begun boycotting the lounge in disgust, as supporters clap and sing along, inserting "bah bah bah" into every conversation where they happen to disagree with one another.
Meanwhile, Breitbart issues reports of a Neil Diamond sighting on deck 5. As passengers bum rush the starlight theater for autographs, Steve Bannon overtakes the first mate along with the ships's emergency transmission system. In a somewhat ominous sign, the loudspeakers are softly playing "The Day the Music Died" on repeat.
As lounge singers croon on into the night with thinly veiled renditions of Sweet Caroline (tweet aunt jemine? Not. Fooling. Anyone.) The Opposition party is busy hoarding coconuts to load their hastily made rocket launchers (hollowed out baguettes) aimed directly at the steel drum band cheerily singing "Sands...touching sands...reaching out...touching me...touching...ewwww". Something tells us, this MAY not turn out...so good, so good, so good, so good...
Captain signing off. Over and out for now. More updates to follow. Unless we are overrun by an angry coconut wielding mob...or bored to death with the lack of music selection on board. Only time will tell.