Saturday, April 28, 2012

A cop pulled me over and said, "Papers..." So I said, Scissors, I Win!"

LOL.  Like Like Like.  Winning = my style


How appropriate!  KIDULT = ME (recently went to 3rd grade status, not coming back anytime soon) in PARIS!  Soon to be in Paris.  Going French, people.  Very soon.  Jerrry went French back in 1990.  I will below for details.

  Cloud decoder says: every silver lining has A touch of grey.  And the other way around too.  Both.  "IT's ALRIGHT.  Cause, I will get by, I will get by, I will get by, I WILL survive..."

Super Mario LIKES (me too)  LIKE LIKE LIKE

"...We WILL get by....
We WILL get by,
We WILL get byyyyyy, we will survive..."

WE DID IT! Past the 3,000 Mark on Number of Occupiers! WOO! Get Ready for the BIGGEST BLOG PARTY to Hit the Village! Starring WILLIS TREE! And Yours Truly. YOU GUYS ROCK!

WELL, my fellow OCCUPIERS, the Occupy My Blog Movement on the move has officially passed the 3,000 occupier mark and you know what time it is?  Time for a BLOG PARTY!  Woo!  Get Set, Ready, let's GO!  Here we go!  It's Party Time.

Date: TBD
Invite:  If You Occupy My Blog, You Followers You ;)
Place: The Rooftop with a life of it's own (East Village, NY)
Starring: WILLIS TREE (luvs big cans), many other yet to be determined performances, and of course, yours truly

So get READY for the BLOG PARTY of the century and get PUMPED UP people.  I thank you for your occupation efforts and, well, for the party?  You can thank me later ;)

We ROCK!  More details will follow.  In the meantime, here's WILLIS TREE NOW providing a sneak peak at what you're in store for (A LOT, Lemme tell ya)

Cause WE stick out our cans for the garbage man.  Do you?  You can TOO.  WOO!

Wow Someones Having a Bad Day...DEATH WISH? WOW.Call Me Maybe To The Rescue!

Death with the life on earth ain't shit....OK OK this'll help I promise.  Your daily dose of call me maybe RIGHT HERE!  Catch it.  And Change Your Life (tho not necessarily for the better)

Anyone Else Thinking That Maybe OWS and Wall Street Outta Settle Their Differences With A Good Old Fashioned Thumb War?

Cause I'm pretty sure that's the best way to approach the situation.  Only option at this point.  I've gone to third grade status.  I like stickers, and pictures.  And thumb wrestling.  You can too ;)  Apparently a LOT of other people around here are in the same boat.

Ok, I'll start, One, two three four, I declare a thumb war....

Like me now???  LIKE LIKE LIKE    

Dear PITT, We Are Never Going To Stop Being Sore Winners. Apologies in Advance but HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW BITCHES? Luv, PHILLY XOXOXO

LOL. YOUZ RULES.  Not getting old anytime soon over here. Just really isn't.  Love you Pitt!  Now that we  won ;)  LOL  Flyers fans are not only sore losers, but sore winners.  Like us now?  Not so much?  Well, you're not alone....I'm sure of that LOL  What can ORANGE do for you?  (hint: a LOT).

What We've Got Here is a Failure to Give a Shit. It's The Word On the Street.

Get ill.  Check.  Done and done.
I'm the newest member of the fuckaclub.  
Worksport = old club, not in style anymore. 
A lesser evil.  Lesser of two evils?
Make your mark, in the park.  Done.  Check.  Done and done.  My work here is done.

OMG Even Dr. Evil is A Flyers Fan! Fly Boyz Looking Pretty Good Over Here. PS. Dear Pitt, YOUZ RULES!

OMG This just IN!  Even DR. EVIL has been converted to the religion of ORANGE.  See for yourself!  Anyone who's ANYONE is hopping on the bandwagon!  So, It's time for this: ORANGE U gonna do the same already?  You should.
Fly Boyz looking pretty awesome, New Jersey!  We want ONE BILLION power plays tomorrow dudes.  Dr. Evil's in our corner.  Whachu bringing to the table??

So, I may have sold my soul to the devil for a Flyers win last week, which really begs the question, what else can I sell for a win this week?  WELL, lemme tell you, there's PLENTY left to sell.  My freedom, perhaps?  Oh, wait, I already sold that to the "man"....hmmmm.  Will come up with something fo sure.  Stay tuned....

In the meantime, there's this to occupy ourselves with...SO ZIP IT, Scott.  LOL  "he's actually quite astute I actually AM trying to kill him."  "In the spring we'd make meat helmets.  Pretty standard, really."  LOL  "Why make trillions when we could make...billions?"  "Would you like to have a suckle on my zipple?"

    Philly fans = shining examples of maturity 

Oh, and PS.  PITT: here's one for ya!  We're losing 0-2 to the Penguins!  We're going to lose!  April Fools!  Not getting old, these jokes.  Just not getting old.  Could go on for months on end here.  Sorry about this.  I truly am.  Love, Philly xoxox  

PPS: say it together now.  YOUZ Rules!  LOL

Words With Friends Volume 2979..Epitome of Laziness

  Words with Friends logoWords with Friends logoWords with Friends logo Words with Friends logoWords with Friends logoWords with Friends logoEpitome of laziness.  All over NYC.  Cause seriously I'm not the ONLY one who walks around in circles cause I know the vicinity of where I'm going and can't be bothered to look up on iPhone.  LOL.  Epitome of laziness?  Probably. Have everything you need at your fingertips?  YEP.  But too lazy to actually USE it.  Rather wander around. in circles.  LOL.  Lazy (but more fun tho).  Still, pretty friggin lazy.

Friday, April 27, 2012

The First Rule Of Fight Club Is That You Don't Talk About Fight Club. Got That People??

Oh SHIT. Mayday! Right Around the Corner People May 1st, 2012. So Consider Yourself Warned.

  Mayday! Mayday! Mayday! And apparently NOTHING is off limits.  Including: MURDER.  Of bankers.  In cold blood.  Redrum!  Redrum! Redrum!  Stephen King style...Consider yourself warned.  

Fo real tho, not having an easy time imagining this group of occupiers donning machine guns and going postal on anyone who looks like they may have interviewed with Morgan Stanley.  But hey, apparently RAGE is the word on the street.  So, don't say I didn't warn ya.  OK?

And say hello to my little friend....May 1st = OWS Day.  Scarface style...catch it.

Another Simple Request OWS. OCCUPY THIS! Occupy Your Constructive Criticism Compliments of Yours Truly. It Really IS Constructive, So, You Can Thank Me Later.

Ah I SEE OWS, you wanna go this way do ya?  Want a repeat of 2008??  I guarantee u my friends, you DO NOT.  First and foremost cause we'll be living Lord of the Flies Style (sans bailout)...and that's not ANYONE'S style these days, really.  Also, because here's the deal dudes, there ARE people in this world that are MOTIVATED to make money.  We are creative and interesting, and have a million and one ideas on how to use capitalism to our advantage.  You should too don't really want to compete with that.  But be my guest.  All the same to me.  Not really caring right now.  Welcome to it as a matter of fact.

So...Got an idea?  Go for it!  That's the beauty of the whole thing.  You choose to hate those who HAVE (and BTW I get your frustration, I seriously do, at the current state of affairs,,,and on that note, you MAY want to occupy our dysfunctional government vs. Wall st dudes, cause if you want to point fingers...they potentially might be bought and sold like third world country style, just saying)  Otherwise, play the fucking game dudes and make some money of your own, already.  Jealousy gets you NOWHERE in life people.  Absolutely f-ing nowhere.  Mark my words.  So do something friggin productive for a change cause this whole occupation is starting to work a nerve (another warning :)  LOL

So here's a friggin BRIGHT idea:  how bout instead of bitching about how the world owes you something, cause believe you me, it most certainly does NOT...Re: Nicaragua or Malawi people???? Like, come the fuck on.   Seriously???  Let's get real here for a sec.  You're proposing murdering anyone that looks like they can afford an Armani suit because they were creative and innovative enough to make the magic happen....because WHY EXACTLY?  Because they scrapped their way up to the top?  I see.  Cause THAT makes sense.   Obviously.

Well murder away my friends, because with that kind of logic, you're gonna end up in the big house, guaranteed.  You want ideas?  Coaching?  Hit me up.  More than happy to oblige.  Just don't bring your whine, cause I've seen enough on the streets these days to last a lifetime.

I mean, Christ.  We are all still fancy animals, and it's a dog eat dog world out there, even if you happened to be sheltered from that growing up (I was, but SOMEHOW figured it out).  Potentially parenting styles have gotten so outta control, leading to thinking the wold owes youth something.  Well, fo real, let me be the first to break it down fo ya, that NOPE, as a matter of fact, it does NOT.  Not one bit.  The world is not obligated to pay your student loans or even hire you.  You are a commodity, my friends.  And if you want to get ahead, make yourself as marketable as humanly possible. Which, in my opinion, is exactly the opposite of protesting people making money because you do not have a job.  But that's just my opinion...take it or leave it.

I get the economy sucks.  But guess what?  I'm PRETTY SURE that if you polled ALL of Wall Street, you might find that they don't want the economy to suck either.  They WANT you to have a job, dudes.  I want you to have a job.  (I can help you for christ sake, I know headhunters) Your politicians may or may not but they're too busy being bought and sold to tell.  So f-ing occupy Washington dudes.  A fo real sorry state of affairs...

Or start a business and make some money, dudes.  Cause I learned a long time ago that life isn't unicorns and rainbows. (altho that'd be sweet if it WAS, but it's NOT, FYI).  High time you do the same.  Just saying.

 So get to it already.  I DARE YOU.  Innovate till your little heart's content!  Plenty 'o ways to make money.  Just gotta put ur mind to it.

And...consider THIS your second challenge, my friends.  To a duel of who can use their friggin brain, not to COMPLAIN, but to use capitalism to their advantage....So the fuck what if you weren't born with a silver spoon?  I wasn't.  Didn't need it...Capitalism is UR friends, my friends (we're all friends really).  So create and innovate it UP people!  (versus going to jail because you were jealous of someone's ability to even consider purchasing a Mercedes and decided murder was the only way to deal) Murder not = to Philly style (although we like shooting A LOT of things, primarily to open them though.  Functional problem solvers.)

Ok that's a rap, and all I have to say about that.  

I Love Big Cans. Stick Out Your Cans For the Garbage Man. Willis Tree ROCKS. You can too, with THIS.

Stick out your cans for the garbage man...I heart big cans too.  LOL

Willis Tree = Awesome!!!
Even tho he's from Pittsburgh...Won't hold it against ya, PROMISE!!  So long as you adopt the term Youz, vs YINZ.  Deal???  This tune is SO CATCHY it's crazy. So call me, MAYBE?  ONE THING I KNOW, one thing I show fo sure, is that THE GABAGE MAN'S COMIN BACK FO MORE. :)  

So, we got that going for us, which is nice...  

I Like Little Lebowski Urban Achievers and Liking Things On Facebook

I'm a Little Lebowski Urban Achiever.  Are you?  Good.  I like that.  I also like liking things on Facebook.  New favorite pastime.  So achieve it up!  You urban achiever you.  Lebowski style = my style

Like!  Like!  Like!     Friends like each other's status updates and a lot of things each other like.  Like!

 I like following and liking.  Follow by example you follower and follow me on twitter and like me on facebook already.  You know you want to...

All You Need is LOVE & Fly-Guys Hockey. The Beatles Are Now Flyers Fans. WOW! Anyone Who's ANYONE is Converting to ORANGE!

Got it?  Good.  Woo!  Get ready to get Flyered UP!  Cause Philly's coming to town.  We've got the love.  Do you?  You should...All You Need is LOVE and PHILLY!  Woo!  Oh, there's Philly, loving it up.  LOVE that guy...

photo by Andrew Weiss

OMG, this just in, THE BEATLES are now Flyers fans.  NICE!!!!!  We've got our bases covered here with famous people converting to Flyers fans...  They LOVE US. Do you?  You can too.  Woo!

UH-OH...New Jersey Devils @ Philadelphia Flyers SUNDAY! So, It's About That Time...Marky Mark's Now A Flyer's Fan. Not Looking Too Good For U Jersey...

Angels wear Orange.  What can ORANGE do for you?  

Don't miss this face off when the Flyers sweep sweep sweep New Jersey on Sunday!  (AKA: FUNDAY) Philly takes this fight OUT OF STATE, ACROSS The Border to their not so friendly neighbors, New Jersey Cause, who really likes Jersey anyway? (note: probably not so friendly because nobody likes them.  Potentially)

Jersey = not really Philly style...One word: Trenton.  Enough Said...My work here is done.

(PS: New Yorkers don't really like New Jersey either, just an FYI. Nope, not really....)  Unsure on Pitt's stance on New Jersey but I'm operating under the assumption they're not big fans of the place either...Not really anyway...

Oh, and Pitt, here's one for ya, because this joke is being beaten so far into the ground, probably for months...LOL  Luv ya!  Now that we've won :)  Win, win win.  Winning!  I like orange.  Do you?  Hey Penguins NOW YOUZ CAN'T Leave...LOL! Youz is the new YINZ.  YINZ = out.  YOUZ =In.

Hey Jersey Driver!  It's about that time, to break forth the rythm and the rhyme....cause now EVEN Marky Mark is a Flyers fan!  Not looking too good for ya here...we've got the GOOD VIBRATIONS covered.  Shot them, Philly Style.  Done and done.

Can't get puck in goal?  No problem.  SHOOT it.  REAL Problems solvers over here.  And real mature.  East coast family has taken collective vacations.  From our problems.  FYI

  = Orange & Awesome
Yo! It's about that time
To bring forth the rhythm and the rhyme
I'm a get mine so get yours
I wanna see sweat comin' out your pores
On the house tip is how I'm swingin' this
Strictly Hip-Hop boy, I ain't singin' this
Bringing this to the entire Philly nation
ORANGE, white, red, brown
Feel the vibration

Vibrations good like Sunkist (also orange & AWESOME)
Many wanna know who done this
Marky Mark and I'm here to move you
Rhymes will groove you
And I'm here to prove to you
That we can party on the positive side
And pump positive vibes (are the color orange)
So come along for the ride
Making you feel the rhythm is my occupation
So feel the vibration

Come on come on
Feel it feel it
Feel the vibration

It's such a good vibration
It's such a sweet sensation
It's such a good vibration
It's such a sweet sensation

Focus on Karma: "It's Everywhere You're Going To Be"

Ford Focuses on Karma.  You Can TOO!  It's everywhere we're going to be.

I Like IKE, And Life, And LIKING Things on Facebook

Do you?  YOU DO?  ME TOO!  Go us.  We're awesome!  Like, like like.  They like each other.  How nice.  Love is in the air (as well as Rocket ships, my getaway vehicle of choice today)  It's Friday, people!  Get your Fridays on in style.  Love style, that is.  Like it?  Good. :)

So Keep Calm AND CARRY YOUR IPOD.  Very good advice indeed.  Like!

  Jerry LOVES You.  LIKE!

 I also like IKE.  Liked it!

Bury Your Rivals, Not Your Desk. Friends Make Friends Look Good. I Make Advertisers in Manhattan Look Great!

Oh hello friend!  Welcome to Primetime!  It's Draft Season.  NFL=Friend
And you can consider every advertiser in New York City officially my friends. Now that's a lot of friends!! Yep, just went there.  Making Ads look good on my blog is my style.  So you can thank me later friends!
Bury your rivals not your desk.  Manhattan mini storage is my new best friend.  What can brown do for you?  UPS, also
Friended.  LIKE!
Seeing stars.  Norwegian Stars.  All-stars!  Friended.  LIKE LIKE LIKE

Five Guys in Red.  Also, Friends.  (and RED)  LIKE