Saturday, May 5, 2012

You are trying my impatience

You see? Impatience cubed.

Mosquito will NOT ever leave your front bumper

If I have anything to say about it. Which I DO, cause its MY BLOG. FYI.

Nothin but the best for US. In Buck County PA

The best sushi and bartenders that is...that's an ANGRY dragon dude. And delicious to boot. Most popular bartender in Bucks. RIGHT here. Is in my book. Said we are beautiful. Compliments get you everywhere. Including most popular. That was easy. Lol

Just like marriage except with bullets

My kind of marriage. Lol. People from Philly like to shoot things and therefore like bullets. With marriage on the side. Got that?

Guess Who's in LOVE with their New iPad? Hint: it's not YOU

NYC loves Philly woo!

Babies. Cry babies over here. How MUCH did I drink Last Night

A GOOD question, fo sho. Lol. Thanks to Guy for sharing. Lol

Hopped aboard the crazy train (New Jersey Transit) New Hope Bound

All signs point to philly. The dude abides.

Cause nothing says stylish cinco de mayo celebration like pretending we are in junior high. Bye bye NYC. Hello old stomping ground. Woo!

Bring on this super moon. We are ready. Got our ballet slippers and tie dyes on. Not riding bikes tho. Too old for that. Scooters. Motorized vehicles only while under the influence of tequila is how we roll. Just sayin...

Friday, May 4, 2012

Moon Alert! Moon Alert! Super Moon On Cinco De Mayo!

This just IN!  There's going to be ANOTHER super moon on none other than everyone's favorite holiday involving tequila, Cinco De Mayo (tomorrow).  So before you day drink and get completely wasted on tequila, you MAY want want to reconsider your plans and potentially pace yourself in order to see this Super Moon in action.  I know of a good viewing place if you want to feel like you're in a Spaceballs movie too.  So hit me up.  Over and out moon men.

Moon over Cinco de Mayo

Many of you are likely contemplating weekend plans since Saturday is Cinco de Mayo, but there may be another event to pencil into your calendar: viewing the "super moon." At 11:35 p.m. ET Saturday, the official full moon will occur at the same time its orbit brings the familiar white globe closest to Earth.
The moon will appear very large and bright in the sky, about 16% brighter than usual. The best location to view the moon at its largest is when it is along the horizon after rising and just before setting. Viewing the moon behind buildings and trees creates an optical illusion so it appears even largermaking it a perfect time to try and grab some beautiful pictures.
So why is this full moon "super"? As the moon orbits the Earth, there are specific times when it is closest to and farthest away from our planet. Apogee occurs when the moon is farthest away from Earth, and perigee occurs when it is closest. On Saturday, the moon will be at its perigee and thus very close to Earth about 221,000 miles away.

The perigee on Saturday night will also be the closest one to Earth all year, about 3% closer than any other approach in 2012. This is due to the fact that the orbits in our solar system are elliptical instead of circular. There is a bit of wobble in these orbits as well, explaining why we see some perigees closer and some apogees farther away than others.
Those along the coasts wondering, “Do I need to worry about huge high tides?” will notice more exaggerated high and low tides but nothing extreme. In most places, the perigean tides raise tidal levels about an inch. In some locations, the tide could rise possibly up to 6 inches, depending on local geography.
This full moon will be big, bright, beautiful and certainly worth a look. The timing to see it will be perfect when many people already are out and about on Saturday night.
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RIP MCA We Will Miss You

You're in a better place now, I'm sure.  Have fun with Steve Jobs in heaven (but don't let him borrow your iPad...word to the wise).  Tell him hello for us, would ya?  We'll miss your face...and fab music skills.Adam "MCA" Yauch of the Beastie Boys performs in 2004 at the VooDoo Music Festival in New Orleans.

  They are now: Intergalactic planetary (always were really).  RIP.

Words With Friends, Volume 3590, Employee of the Month Award


LOL dedicated employees over here.  Real dedicated...Hard workers.  Def deserve employee of the month award. LOL.  Whatever it takes in this dog eat dog world...losing my religion over current state of employment affairs.  Are you?  REM is...see below:

Dear Steve Jobs, You Have Pleased Your Lordeth, For Once, And Returned His iPAD4. Hallelujah!

Dear Steve Jobs,

Your Lordeth is pleased (for once) and after you've so graciously returned his iPAD4.  Hallelujah!

Your Lordeth now grants you access to the pearly gates of heaven, er  er "Steve Jobs' Empire in the Sky" (which you already had free run of the place anyway but just making it official here)  Jobs, you've really outdone yourself and although you annoy the shit outta your maker by scratching him with your too long toenails in bed and hogging the covers, we are pretty square for the time being.

My iPad, brings boys to the yard, it's better than yours...

The iPad4 has changed your Lordeth's (eternal) life in countless ways, but to name merely a few, here goes nothing:

  • Lordeth can create blog posts on the go without worrying about wifi signals and power outages
  • Lordeth can take amazing photographs with his lovely "precious"
  • Your creator is kept company on those long, lonely nights when you're out gallivanting around with god, er me, knows WHO all friggin' night (you know how jealous that makes me, Steve)
  • It's sleek design, it's lightweight feel is easy peasy for your lordeth to carry around heaven while taking photographs and thinking philosophically on how he might acquire his soul back at some point in the near future.

Steve Jobs, you have made your lord and creator proud.  And for that, I thank you.  You have changed your Lordeth's life, decidedly for the better.  Just please, for the love of god, er me, do a little maintenance, Steve.  A little maintenance goes a LONG way.  Okay?  Thank you very much.


Your highly pleased Lordeth, God, And Creator of Steve Jobs Who Is Now Aces in His Book (for the time being, anyway) xoxo

PS.  Call Me?  Maybe?  You still don't return my calls and it's getting old.  TTYL

Stereotypes are Awesome! But Only One of Them is a Convicted Felon


Angry Birds in Real Life are REALLY ANGRY

Your life could be worse...with for real angry birds. Lol. Life is made better by lunch in the park. Sans angry birds of course. Just FYI.

Flyers Fans in ACTION With Love, Philadelphia xoxo Call Us, Maybe?

Nobody does Obnoxious like Philly sports fans.  Like us NOW?  No?  Not really?  Didn't think so...
  Look!  This was in Penn Station last night!  A sign?  Of winning Sunday??  Or maybe visiting Philly Saturday night?  Potentially both...a highly likely scenario.  Might need a little New Hope therapy to heal the soul (still on the lamb, MIA) Call Me Maybe to the rescue!  Oh SNAP!  Your daily dose is Right HERE!  Catch it.  So call me, maybe?

Office Space: The Bobs and Milton Strikes Back. Two of my Favorite Scenes.

Office-Space-cc01.jpg  "What would you say, You do here?"
"I deliver the estimates to the engineers."  "You mean you physically take the estimates to the engineers?"
"No, there's a secretary for that.  Or the fax."  "I'M A PEOPLE PERSON CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?"
  "The squirrels and they were married."  
"My swingline...OK, I set the building on fire."

TGIF, people.  TGIF.

Hitting the Easy Button on Life, One Day at a Time. THAT Was Easy.

Secret easy button tip for this lovely Friday comin' at ya.  Don't like something?  Easy solution: walk away.  Don't like that someone called you out on the fact that you've unnecessarily harped on the fact that hoodies on animals make perfect SENSE for the last five days (animals are not racist, unless they're Dolphins, FYI)  Well, the mature and easy way to handle the scenario?  Simply get up.  Say good day.  And Walk Away.  It's my preferred method for dealing with those who happen to suffer from the newly deemed douciopath disorder affecting a good portion of the population these days.  So you try!  See how easy that was??

  That was easy, LOL  

So there you go, hit the easy button.  I do.  You can too. So does PHISH.  See below.

A Simple Request: Occupy Your Self Awareness and Sense of Direction.

Occupy your self awareness and Occupy your sense of direction. And freaking watch where you're going already! Cause Occupying your iPhone will lead directly to walking into walls and other hard objects. FYI.

An update on the occupy my Blog movement on the MOVE, really shaking things up! Making waves, disrupting the current status quo. My fellow occupiers, you really deserve a round of applause. (not applesauce). Together we are changing the social, emotional, functional, logical, and psychological landscape as we know it. And for that we should be PROUD. Please take this opportunity to give yourselves a pat on the back, cause you deserve it!

Which brings me to my next simple request: Occupy Your Self Direction and Self Awareness. Otherwise, you're headed straight for that brick wall. And no one likes running into brick walls. Including you. Including me. (and every last lady) And you can consider me public offender nĂºmero UNO (run into shit ALL god damn the time).

I mean, how many times have you found yourself almost running RIGHT INTO the brick wall that occupies your outside space because YOU weren't paying attention? Too busy occupying your iPhone or iPad to bother with simple details such as whether the light is red or green and what that may mean for your future, that may be cut very short as a direct result of your acute ADD? HONEST answers please people. You KNOW you've done it. and if you haven't you WILL. Mark my words...

How many times were you soooo into your friend's text MSG about the latest iteration of carly rae's "call me maybe"video that you lost yourself in the world of electronica, only to be rudely awakened by that lamp post you've just walked right into in front of a hundred other people. Good thing they were ALL occupying their own iPhone or iPad lest they may have noticed your near brush with most embarrassing moment of all time. Yep, thank God for that.

So my seemingly simple (yet not so much when you dig into the details) request is to Occupy Your Self Direction. Cause mine (not mime) for one, has gone to shit. And you better get the F outta my way, cause I'm in a BIG rush to go to somewhere that I'm not really sure where is located.

So, my dear fellow occupiers, for the love of god, please occupy your self direction and don't run into any walls. Mkay? Cause mine (not MIME) could use some work and we most certainly don't need TWO of us out on the streets. Wandering around on our iPhones like strangers in an unholy land (FYI only lost because of our own utter laziness in not being bothered to check the MAP function on our iPhones anymore because, really, who has time for THAT when we are too busy updating Facebook statuses and texting to give a shit whether we are walking directly into oncoming traffic). These sidewalks aren't big enough for the BOTH of us, my friends. Nope, not big enough for TWO of us not paying one bit of attention to their general direction (in life or otherwise).

So, follow by example, and follow THIS (not me actually, am public offender no 1) but heed my advice and occupy your sense of direction. Because otherwise how the F are we gonna know if we are on the right track? (or any track for that matter)?

One thing's for sure, I most certainly WILL NOT. So SOMEONE has to. And that someone is now YOU. I now choose to outsource this function to you, my fellow occupiers. So, Dog speed.

Occupy your self direction UP people. And if you happen to locate mine, send help at your earliest convenience. Cause a safe bet would be to assume I'm lost somewhere in the west village in need of me? Help you? Friends help friends lost in electronica with no hope of coming back anytime soon, by their OWN design.

Happy Occupying! Over and out for now. More updates to follow...unless I'm too lost to even send for help since am too preoccupied with the newest version of angry birds to care...and therefore revert to homeless status by default...a DISTINCT possibility at this point...just saying...