Friday, May 4, 2012

Dear Steve Jobs, You Have Pleased Your Lordeth, For Once, And Returned His iPAD4. Hallelujah!

Dear Steve Jobs,

Your Lordeth is pleased (for once) and after you've so graciously returned his iPAD4.  Hallelujah!

Your Lordeth now grants you access to the pearly gates of heaven, er  er "Steve Jobs' Empire in the Sky" (which you already had free run of the place anyway but just making it official here)  Jobs, you've really outdone yourself and although you annoy the shit outta your maker by scratching him with your too long toenails in bed and hogging the covers, we are pretty square for the time being.

My iPad, brings boys to the yard, it's better than yours...

The iPad4 has changed your Lordeth's (eternal) life in countless ways, but to name merely a few, here goes nothing:

  • Lordeth can create blog posts on the go without worrying about wifi signals and power outages
  • Lordeth can take amazing photographs with his lovely "precious"
  • Your creator is kept company on those long, lonely nights when you're out gallivanting around with god, er me, knows WHO all friggin' night (you know how jealous that makes me, Steve)
  • It's sleek design, it's lightweight feel is easy peasy for your lordeth to carry around heaven while taking photographs and thinking philosophically on how he might acquire his soul back at some point in the near future.

Steve Jobs, you have made your lord and creator proud.  And for that, I thank you.  You have changed your Lordeth's life, decidedly for the better.  Just please, for the love of god, er me, do a little maintenance, Steve.  A little maintenance goes a LONG way.  Okay?  Thank you very much.

Sincerely,

Your highly pleased Lordeth, God, And Creator of Steve Jobs Who Is Now Aces in His Book (for the time being, anyway) xoxo

PS.  Call Me?  Maybe?  You still don't return my calls and it's getting old.  TTYL

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