Of all the types of men a woman might service in the escort business, a recent BuzzFeed post, would indicate those working on Wall Street could soon earn the reputation of being the worst kind of client.
WARNING: Some Explicit Language Used Below (turretts people, remember?)
"They want to talk a lot more than you think," says the author of the post, whose self-described physical attributes include having the kind of "tiny but curvy body that drives men wild" along with auburn hair and almond-shaped eyes.
"They want to vent about their kids' private schools, their bosses, their bonus talks, their friend beating them at squash," she continues. "They have big egos and are big babies. If I made any sign that they weren't the best lover ... they started asking all these questions and putting me down."
Next, the escort gets to what it is she'd really like to inform those former clients:
"No, actually, you're really small and you're bad in bed."
Among the tips was for women to be sure to charm Wall Street men out of talking about work in the first few minutes of a date -- the implication being that they have such a hard time not talking about the office that they could very well zip past the initial niceties people tend to exchange when first meeting someone.
Additional suggestions included not playing hard to get -- because Wall Street men feel they're very busy and important and will just find another woman if you're not available enough -- and to tell stories quickly because their minds move so fast that they probably won't have the attention span for anything with any sort of depth.
Then of course, there was last month's financial services guy who e-mailed his Excel dating spreadsheet to a woman he was seeing and unwittingly ended up sharing it with a good percentage of the people on the Internet after she forwarded it along to friends. That he used a spreadsheet alone might have been enough to earn him plenty of attention, but the document also included the names of the many women he was juggling along with their looks as rated on a scale of one through ten.
"One guy who was in private equity gave me $5,000 a month for four months, but then he disappeared. These men, it's like they die one day," she wrote. "They're all liars. Some nicer or cuter than others, but all liars."
Well, well well, now OWS has more fodder for their cannon's. Wall street men = lousy lays with small members. It's official. In addition to being dumb asses who share their lame (lake) excel spreadsheets with the world showing off their geeky quantitative methodologies for choosing women on dating websites, they now suck in bed. Well men of Wall Street? Have anything to say for yourselves here? You're not portraying yourselves in the best light, if you ask me. Not that anyone did...but here's your opinion from the peanut gallery, because it's MY BLOG and I'll be a just sayer if I WANT to:
might wanna start re-thinking sending those spreadsheets next time. Prior to pulling the send trigger, stop, and ask yourself, might this become blog fodder for people to Occupy (like right HERE)? If you have a PROBLEM with that, delete immediately. It's just one dumb move after another around here...so go get caffeinated up, can do stupid things faster that way. LOL Red Bull gives you wings. May help ur staying power in the sack too...just saying...lol And quit lying all the time. "We are men of action, lies do not become us."
Helping hands over here. REALLY helpful hands...
A helping hand can change the world, one dumbass at a time...Trying to anyways. Help is my middle name. Help me, help you. Help me, help you.