Friday, May 4, 2012

A Simple Request: Occupy Your Self Awareness and Sense of Direction.

Occupy your self awareness and Occupy your sense of direction. And freaking watch where you're going already! Cause Occupying your iPhone will lead directly to walking into walls and other hard objects. FYI.

An update on the occupy my Blog movement on the MOVE, really shaking things up! Making waves, disrupting the current status quo. My fellow occupiers, you really deserve a round of applause. (not applesauce). Together we are changing the social, emotional, functional, logical, and psychological landscape as we know it. And for that we should be PROUD. Please take this opportunity to give yourselves a pat on the back, cause you deserve it!

Which brings me to my next simple request: Occupy Your Self Direction and Self Awareness. Otherwise, you're headed straight for that brick wall. And no one likes running into brick walls. Including you. Including me. (and every last lady) And you can consider me public offender nĂºmero UNO (run into shit ALL god damn the time).

I mean, how many times have you found yourself almost running RIGHT INTO the brick wall that occupies your outside space because YOU weren't paying attention? Too busy occupying your iPhone or iPad to bother with simple details such as whether the light is red or green and what that may mean for your future, that may be cut very short as a direct result of your acute ADD? HONEST answers please people. You KNOW you've done it. and if you haven't you WILL. Mark my words...

How many times were you soooo into your friend's text MSG about the latest iteration of carly rae's "call me maybe"video that you lost yourself in the world of electronica, only to be rudely awakened by that lamp post you've just walked right into in front of a hundred other people. Good thing they were ALL occupying their own iPhone or iPad lest they may have noticed your near brush with most embarrassing moment of all time. Yep, thank God for that.

So my seemingly simple (yet not so much when you dig into the details) request is to Occupy Your Self Direction. Cause mine (not mime) for one, has gone to shit. And you better get the F outta my way, cause I'm in a BIG rush to go to somewhere that I'm not really sure where is located.

So, my dear fellow occupiers, for the love of god, please occupy your self direction and don't run into any walls. Mkay? Cause mine (not MIME) could use some work and we most certainly don't need TWO of us out on the streets. Wandering around on our iPhones like strangers in an unholy land (FYI only lost because of our own utter laziness in not being bothered to check the MAP function on our iPhones anymore because, really, who has time for THAT when we are too busy updating Facebook statuses and texting to give a shit whether we are walking directly into oncoming traffic). These sidewalks aren't big enough for the BOTH of us, my friends. Nope, not big enough for TWO of us not paying one bit of attention to their general direction (in life or otherwise).

So, follow by example, and follow THIS (not me actually, am public offender no 1) but heed my advice and occupy your sense of direction. Because otherwise how the F are we gonna know if we are on the right track? (or any track for that matter)?

One thing's for sure, I most certainly WILL NOT. So SOMEONE has to. And that someone is now YOU. I now choose to outsource this function to you, my fellow occupiers. So, Dog speed.

Occupy your self direction UP people. And if you happen to locate mine, send help at your earliest convenience. Cause a safe bet would be to assume I'm lost somewhere in the west village in need of me? Help you? Friends help friends lost in electronica with no hope of coming back anytime soon, by their OWN design.

Happy Occupying! Over and out for now. More updates to follow...unless I'm too lost to even send for help since am too preoccupied with the newest version of angry birds to care...and therefore revert to homeless status by default...a DISTINCT possibility at this point...just saying...

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