Welcome to your fountain of youth. Not too proud for immaturity over here. Life's a journey, not a destination. So follow by example and follow mine. And OCCUPY THIS.
"You can take our coffee, you can take our wine, but you can't take our freedom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Another picture of a picture. Like a dream within a dream...Hanging on friend's wall. Takes me back to that "one fateful night", back in November of 2011. While, generally, what happens on a Royal Carribean cruise over Thanksgiving, stays on a Royal Carribean cruise, some tidbits are now shared. For the very first time...
Day 2: Captain's Log.
While sailing the high seas, two friends, all dressed up, and nowhere to go. Unaware of what lay ahead....a night of mystery, intrigue and...insults? After a rough day relaxing on deck, soaking up some sun, we prepared ourselves for the first formal night of the trip. The following ridiculousness ensued, not necessarily in order of appearance:
- The fourth wall was officially broken.
- One out of the two cried. (Not telling which one.)
- "Nobody Puts Crazy in a Corner" quote was spawned. And utilized throughout the week.
- The seed of innovation was sown to, later in the week, create the following rally cry reminiscent of the movie Braveheart "...You can take our coffee, you can take our wine, but you can't take our freeeeeeedoooooommmmmm" The only thing missing was the war paint, which was, in fact, considered via lipstick and eyeshadow. Didn't happen, but there's always next time...in the meantime, there's this.
Your search is over. Your ship has come in! Check out this place (left) for all your meat slicer and grinder needs! Have all the latest and greatest models with all the newest bells and whistles. Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back!
Don't be the last one of your friends to join the latest trend that's sweeping the nation: slicing and grinding your own meat! It's the hottest fad, the thing to do. So don't miss out before they sell out, the things are simply flying off the shelves!!! Selling like hotcakes! Bring one home today.
Spring has sprung! It's official. Crocuses blooming.
Other great quotes from this fabulous movie (which I happen to be watching at the moment):
"You should never, ever doubt what no one is sure about."
"Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker."
"The suspense is terrible, I hope it'll last..."
"All I ask for is a tall ship and a star to sail her by..."
Violet: "Spitting's a dirty habit." Wonka: "I know a worse one."
"A small step for mankind, but a giant step for us."
"She was a bad egg."
"Not a speck of light is showing so the dangers must be growing, for the rowers keep on rowing and they're certainly not showing any signs that they are slowing..."
"Time is a precious thing, never waste it."
"We are the music makers. And we are the dreamers of dreams."
And last but not least, this song. Fortunate to grow up watching this movie. SO much better than the new one by Tim Burton, in my opinion. Gene Wilder is fantastic.
Remember the awkward dinner conversation in the movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall when Kristen Bell describes a recent movie that she starred in that was about cell phones killing people? And Russell Brand makes fun of the concept? Might have inspired this street art.
Such a hilarious movie. Below is another hilarious part. Peter's Dracula rock opera. Best line: "And if I see Van Helsing I swear to the lord I will slay him". Enjoy!
During dinner last evening, it occurred to me (for probably the
millionth time) how poor the service is in New York City.I mean, is it too much to ask that you bring
food and beverages when we are either hungry or thirsty, or god forbid,
both?Isn’t this your JOB?You’re a WAITER,
defined as someone who “waits” on another person.Not the other way around.I should not have to WAIT on you and your sneaky disappearing acts for hours on end and
pay your salary and tip to boot.Adding
insult to injury, you have attitude like no other wait staff in the country and
possibly the world.What gives?I mean, if your life sucks so badly, why don’t
you get off you’re you- know-what and do something about it instead of taking
it out on poor, unsuspecting diners who frequent your establishment.Take some initiative here, for the love of
god, and stop this assault on the population.
Folks, if you happen to find yourself wondering what you did
to deserve the inevitablly atrocious treatment you receive at NYC restaurants,
the answers is undeniably: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.Unsuspecting victims of the appalling service at restaurants and bars
across Manhattan are claimed on a daily basis, possibly by the minute.You are not alone.When this happens to you again, and again,
and again, just keep in mind that you are nothing more than one more casualty
of the war being waged on the NYC population by angry, out of work actors and
artists. And then go to your happy
place.
The question now becomes this: why on earth did I still tip
you?Was it guilt that you might not be
able to get your evening meal without my $10 tip?Was I shamed into thinking that you deserve
something more than nothing, even though you irritated me for hours on end?What is it in our minds that stop us from
walking out on the bill and leaving you in the lurch?The answer is not entirely clear.However, I believe it has to do with the fact
that we, as people of conscience and compassion, believe that you might be possibly just “having a bad day”.And, therefore, decide we will not punish you by leaving zero on the tip
line and an angry note instead.Because,
hey, we’ve all had bad days, right?WRONG.I truly
believe that a large portion of you members of the service industry are not
simply having bad days, you’re having bad weeks, months, years and possibly
lifetimes.
My suggestion is this: do everyone a favor and get a CHANGE
OF CAREER.You need to get over
yourselves because it’s time to turn this ship around. Your unhappy existence really isn’t that bad. We all have to deal with obnoxious people on a
day to day basis and you are in no way unique in your suffering. If you feel the need to impart your misery upon
the world, one table at a time, it may be a good time to re-evaluate your line
of work.
Members of the service industry of Manhattan, consider this
your official wake-up call.Citizens of
this fine city are on the verge of a revolution, targeting, not Wall Street
this time, but your horrendous excuse for manners.So the next time you decide that it might be
a good idea to leave your customers waiting for ages for even a napkin or some
silverware, while their food slowly gets cold in front of them, followed by your
inevitable outrage when you receive a less than 20% tip, remember this: WE DON’T
HAVE TO TAKE THIS ABUSE MUCH LONGER.And
we won’t.We did nothing to you, and do
not deserve the wrath of your angry server population of haters.It’s not funny anymore.This is not a Seinfeld episode.So, from this day forward, it no longer comes
with the territory, it is no longer par for the course.Because I, for one, am protesting by occupying
my living Room, and ordering in.If I
can ever get my check to pay the brunch bill.Check please!!!
As spring has sprung (well, technically, not quite but the weather sure feels that way) the occupy movement is back in full force here in Manhattan. In keeping with the spirit of occupying various things, I'd like to make one simple request:
Occupy my blog.
That's right, I'd like you to spend days hanging out here. Protest. Comment. Make signs. Spray graffiti. Sleep here. Do what you feel. Just occupy the sh*@t out of it.
On my end, the Occupy My Living Room Movement is in full effect, soon to be followed by the Occupy Starbucks Movement later today, and possibly the Occupy Bed Bath & Beyond this afternoon...but only if there's time.
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