Tuesday, July 24, 2012

A Simple Request: Occupy Your Healthy Level of Insanity (On Reality TV). And Say YES to Fitting in with Everyone ELSE Round Here.

Occupy Your Healthy Level of Insanity.  Cause Nobody gets on reality TV by being "Normal".  Feeling a little CRAZY these days?  GOOD.  So is everyone else in this town.  You'll fit RIGHT IN.  Billy Joel Agrees.

Case in point.  Does THIS look normal to you?

So just say YES.  To a wintery mix of insanity...with crazy on the side. The hottest trend to hit the runway.

Welcome my dear occupying friends, to your weekly update on the Occupy My Blog Movement on the MOVE.  Moving up in the world of new-found fame (for being hookers...on reality TV? God help us), one day at a time.  With our new "madam hooker status" broadcast on national television, we are creating QUITE the buzz around town.  Cause apparently EVERYONE now feels the need to request "hooker approval" for whatever it might be that they are occupying or attempting to accomplish.  Which PLEASES me (not to mention KP).  That's right folks, TOGETHER, we are changing the reality, austerity, TV, KP... (next up MTV?) landscape as we know it.  And for THAT, we should be PROUD (hookers...who APPROVE of this message).

However, (as you may have guessed) I DO have one more simple request: to SAY YES to your inner lunatic.  Cause apparently "eccentricity" is the new new thing.  Hottest trend to hit the runway.  Cause fo real, "normal" is dumb...not to mention boring.  I mean, HOW many times have we tried to fit in with what we believe to be society's definition of "normal" only to realize not only is it the most stressful endeavor imaginable, it's also pointless and a colossal waste of time.  Cause your "normal" self bores your REAL self to tears.  And reality always comes back to bite you in the ass, my friends.  (Never forget: Reality bites).  

May as well face facts here and realize that we're all different.  Which is a GOOD thing, if I have anything to say about it (which I DO, cause it's my blog).  I mean, cause honestly, could you date a carbon copy of you?  Would you even WANT to?  My guess?  If you're anything like me, the answer is a resounding N.O.  I mean, SOMEONE's gotta be the responsible (non-hooker reality TV) adult here...and that someone's apparently not gonna be me (or KP).

Disco in the subway.  Perfectly "normal" round
THIS town...
Do some people find it weird that you idolize pirates, ninjas and gangstas and one day aspire to embody all three (in addition to Carly Rae Jepsen with Call Me Maybe?)  Do other people find it offensive that you now tack the words "bitch", "ho" or "bro" onto most sentences in a dorky attempt to accomplish this new-found goal in life? (ie. YAR, bitches)  Yes?  Fuck em.  Cause if they're your REAL friends, they'll accept you for who you are (hookers? Just Say YES).  And partake in laughing at your ridiculousness alongside of your own self.  Cause, for real, if you can't laugh at yourself....who can you laugh at? (well...YOU I guess...but again I digress).

So get real.  And occupy your inner insane asylum, er "eccentricities". Cause otherwise, you do not get "hooker approval" (very important in this day and age).  And let your true colors shine through, for all the world to see (on reality TV).  And if you'd like hooker approval, all you have to do is Call us...MAYBE?

Occupy it UP, Buttercups!  And let the REAL you shine through.  However eccentric they may be.  Happy Occupying!  Over and out for now.  More updates to follow.
  Most everyone's MAD here...not to mention BAD.  So is MJ.  
"Brought to you by KP and the Sunshine Hooker Gang...and We APPROVE of this message"  

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