Friday, May 4, 2012

New Drinking Game. Roxanne = Out, Sarah Palin = IN

Ok, true storytime.  In college, we used to play this ridiculous drinking game where one group of people would be Roxanne and the other Red Light, we'd play the song and every time they said Roxanne, that group would drink and every time they said Red Light, the Red Light group would drink.  LOL pretty lame but hilarious.
  

However, I NOW have an updated version of this game.  It's called the Watch Sarah Palin speak game.  Every time she says something stupid, we drink.  Wasted by end of speech, guaranteed.  So...you in?  Lemme know. I'm liking this idea...


It's Friday, Woo! Something to Cheer About (Even Tho Flyers Lost) And Dude, I Do Not Roll on Shabbos.

  Win or lose, we always win at something er other.  Got that Jersey?  Winning.  On Sunday, we will fly.  Devils cannot win on Sundays and I do NOT roll on Shabbos.  Shomer shabbos, so don't even ask.  I might play ping pong, but that's another story...


Job Alert! I Got Your Job RIGHT HERE


If you're an experienced hedge fund CFO, that is, who's looking for a change of scenery.  Preference will be given if you're French (they like the French, as do I).  So, hit me up if you're looking to make this job connection.  And if you get it, you can buy me dinner.  Deal?

Even though the jobs report came in this morning and was disappointing overall, there are still jobs floating around for Little Urban Lebowski achievers who like jobs.  (and proud we are of all of them)

What will YOU achieve today?  

An Amazing Similarity Don't You Think? Lemurs...

 = pretty bad ass

Keep CALM and PLAY MUSIC


Keep Calm and Play Music...until Sunday when we get pumped up for the Stanley Cup.  In the meantime, anyone for tennis?  Cream is.  See below.


Whelp Operation Kill Devil Was Unsuccessful THIS Time...

But we are sure to get em on Sunday. When I wear apropos colors for team I root for. ORANGE. Well it was a helluva game. And guess what jersey? We WON in the obnoxious dept. Got THAT one in the bag. Philly fans always win at something. Sunday it will be hockey. Wearing orange and a flyers logo painted the RIGHT way this time...so LOOK OUT. We got the kinks all worked out. Youz Rules.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Time To Bring Out the Big Guns Here. The Entire Country of Russia Has Converted to Flyers. Woo! That Should Just About Do It. United States of Flyers Unite!

Get Flyered up!  Russians are really puttin' on the Ritz and are now Flyers Fans too ;)  They luv fly boyz.  We love them.  You can too!  Let's GO FLYERS!  Cause who really likes Jersey?  We don't, NYC don't, and now Russians don't either!  Woo!  Agree to agree.  Lovefest 2012 just got a WHOLE lot bigger with Russia on our side...

Woo!  United States of FLYERS!  We can't lose with Russia on our side.  Whachu got Jersey?  Besides Trenton??  Not lookin' good here...


What can ORANGE do for you?  Cause we now like vodka, saunas, caviar and all things Russian.  And they like us.  They also like to shoot things.  Like Philly fans do.  You can too.  I LIKE that.  Woo!

Can't open can of caviar?  No problem here.  SHOOT it.  Philly & now Russian style.  There.  Done and done.  Bunch of problem solvers over here.  And New Jersey: you're gonna have a REAL problem on your hands...


Update: LOL the Devils fan I'm going to game with tonight happens to be a Russian. Says she doesn't sway easily LOL (from Patterson).  I'll convert her to Flyers by end of tonight.  You wait and see....

Update 2: She likes the Flyers better than the Rangers.  WELL THAT'S good.  At least we agree on something...

HA THIS Just In: ESCORT To Wall Street MEN: You're a Lousy Lay. Compliments of Huffington Post. More Details Below.


Escort Has Message For Wall Street Men: You Are Bad In Bed

The Huffington Post  |  By  Posted: 05/ 2/2012 7:58 pm Updated: 05/ 3/2012 11:31 am
Female Escort
Of all the types of men a woman might service in the escort business, a recent BuzzFeed post, would indicate those working on Wall Street could soon earn the reputation of being the worst kind of client.
According to a first person account from a female escort in New York City -- every word of which needs to be read to be believed -- not only do Wall Street men whine about their lives, but they need constant reassurance that they are well-endowed and amazing in bed.
WARNING: Some Explicit Language Used Below (turretts people, remember?)
"They want to talk a lot more than you think," says the author of the post, whose self-described physical attributes include having the kind of "tiny but curvy body that drives men wild" along with auburn hair and almond-shaped eyes.
"They want to vent about their kids' private schools, their bosses, their bonus talks, their friend beating them at squash," she continues. "They have big egos and are big babies. If I made any sign that they weren't the best lover ... they started asking all these questions and putting me down."
Next, the escort gets to what it is she'd really like to inform those former clients:
"No, actually, you're really small and you're bad in bed."
The article is the latest in a series of recent stories that have surfaced about relationships with Wall Street men, none of which have done much to improve the public's perception of banker-types as it pertains to the ladies: In February, a step-by-step guide of the management skills it takes to date a finance guy was published, courtesy of relationship expert Samantha Daniels.
Among the tips was for women to be sure to charm Wall Street men out of talking about work in the first few minutes of a date -- the implication being that they have such a hard time not talking about the office that they could very well zip past the initial niceties people tend to exchange when first meeting someone.
Additional suggestions included not playing hard to get -- because Wall Street men feel they're very busy and important and will just find another woman if you're not available enough -- and to tell stories quickly because their minds move so fast that they probably won't have the attention span for anything with any sort of depth.
Then of course, there was last month's financial services guy who e-mailed his Excel dating spreadsheet to a woman he was seeing and unwittingly ended up sharing it with a good percentage of the people on the Internet after she forwarded it along to friends. That he used a spreadsheet alone might have been enough to earn him plenty of attention, but the document also included the names of the many women he was juggling along with their looks as rated on a scale of one through ten.
The Buzzfeed escort, for her part, admitted that the attention of Wall Street men was alluring at first, but that their appeal soon wore off. She says she tried out "sugar daddy" websites after she quit being an escort, thinking she might find someone looking for "something long term," but found them to be no better -- perhaps because some were still Wall Street types.
"One guy who was in private equity gave me $5,000 a month for four months, but then he disappeared. These men, it's like they die one day," she wrote. "They're all liars. Some nicer or cuter than others, but all liars."
LOL
Well, well well, now OWS has more fodder for their cannon's.  Wall street men = lousy lays with small members.  It's official.  In addition to being dumb asses who share their lame (lake) excel spreadsheets with the world showing off their geeky quantitative methodologies for choosing women on dating websites,  they now suck in bed.  Well men of Wall Street?  Have anything to say for yourselves here?  You're not portraying yourselves in the best light, if you ask me.  Not that anyone did...but here's your opinion from the peanut gallery, because it's MY BLOG and I'll be a just sayer if I WANT to: 
might wanna start re-thinking sending those spreadsheets next time.  Prior to pulling the send trigger, stop, and ask yourself, might this become blog fodder for people to Occupy (like right HERE)?  If you have a PROBLEM with that, delete immediately.  It's just one dumb move after another around here...so go get caffeinated up, can do stupid things faster that way.  LOL  Red Bull gives you wings.  May help ur staying power in the sack too...just saying...lol  And quit lying all the time.  "We are men of action, lies do not become us."  
Helping hands over here.  REALLY helpful hands...
A helping hand can change the world, one dumbass at a time...Trying to anyways.  Help is my middle name.  Help me, help you.  Help me, help you.

Guess Who's Going to the FLYERS Devils Game Tonight...With a DEVILS Fan? (Hint: Don't Think it's YOU)

LOL.  Yours truly...LOL going to be all out WAR (except she's a prospective client so suppose I'll have to tone it down a bit...NOT)  Flyers fans are incapable of toning it down....Just not gonna happen, captain.  So we're off to see the FLYERS FLY (in Newark, ewww)

So guess what New Jersey?  I'll be there...too bad I'm wearing red today....will have to purchase orange something er other shortly.  WOO!  Jersey, Philly's coming for you...

And GUESS WHAT ELSE?  George Washington's a FLYERS Fan too!  He crossed the Delaware there.  In Philly.  So that makes him a Flyers fan.  He also liked to shoot things.  He also flies.  We do too!  Woo!  Get Flyered UP!

PS.  New Jersey - what besides Newark you bringing to the table?  Trenton?  LOL (not getting old)

Youz RULES...Like us NOW?  Not so much?  LOL Didn't think so...


Washington is coming, is coming, is coming (with Philly)...And it's time for this:



PS. PITT, we have NOT forgotten about you so do not fear, here's this one for ya.  Apologies in advance.  We love you...now that we won. LOL  XOXO

UH-OH ANOTHER DC Blitzkrieg is RIGHT Around the Corner (and Philly and Baltimore Too) We LIKE Distressed Buildings. You Can TOO. Woo! Schedule a Meeting (Seriously This Time) More Details Below.

Big Save.  Hawaii

The original Bob's Big Boy.  A historical landmark.  Toluca Lake, California.Consider yourself warned, people.  Hitting the road with distressed real estate.  In style...Want some?  Schedule a meeting. (no SERIOUSLY, hit me up please)  I LIKE these kind of meetings. 


Doing the East Coast Tour May 14th, 15th, 16th.  Want a meeting with you know who?  (You KNOW you do)...Other people do (BIG names in the industry).  You can TOO!  Woo!


Distressed tour 2012 happening very very soon.  Woo!   We like distressed buildings.  Like like like!  (Anyone who's ANYone is scheduling meetings (and are Flyers fans too btw).  You can too)  We have a HOT portfolio of distressed assets (not asses, get your mind out of the gutter, people)  So get 'em while they're HOT and get em while the gettin's good (hint: RIGHT NOW).

Parking garage. Downtown Kyoto      

So hit the road, Jack, and schedule a meeting.  Meetings = officially my style.  On the road, that is.

  Ray Charles likes distressed buildings and meetings with me.  You WILL too.  Guaranteed.  Or your money back! 
Like me NOW?  (You WILL)