Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Dear Europe, We're Only Gonna Ask ONE MORE TIME: CONTAIN YOURSELF. Or Else, Mama Said Knock YOU OUT. Cause THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY...

Try it sometime, WILL YA?

Dear Europe,

We're only going to ask nicely ONE MORE TIME: CONTAIN YOURSELF already, for the love of Christ and YOU'RE OWN MOTHER.  It's HIGH TIME we picked a new game.  A FUN game.  Cause yours sucks.  We don't wanna play "hold everyone and their mother hostage while we consider possibly attempting to rectify a situation that has been in the making for over three mo fo years."  How bout a fun game of FIX THE FUCKING PROBLEM A-HOLES AND QUIT POSTURING AND POLITICKING WHILE YOUR ECONOMY GOES UP IN SMOKE.

Hey Europe!  Here's an idea for ya!  How bout this: try a FUN GAME.  Of re-configuring your entire system.  Cause the one youz got ain't workin'.

Freud said the following: The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting a different result.

The boy and girl playing to a sandbox
Europe!  LOOK! These kids play nice
in sandbox.  YOU CAN TOO
So, Europe, what say you?  Are you INSANE (in the membrane?) or are you gonna do something DIFFERENT for a change?  And actually consider FIXING your 99 problems (and a bitch IS one).

boy playing in sandbox
This is how it's DONE.  Kid's playing very nicely.
In sandbox.  Europe!  Follow by example, here.
OK, for reals, I have a solution for ya.  How bout this?  Take your system.  Trash it.  Then rebuild to look like the US Federal Home Loan Bank System.  With a central authority who sets RULES (this is not Nam, Donny, there are RULES here).  And all you little bratty countries have to ABIDE by the rules.  Otherwise, you're out.  Rules such as leverage limits, debt to GDP ratios, ALL KINDS OF RULES that attempt to rein in rogue countries (um, GREECE) from fucking everyone else.  Rules that FORCE you all to play nice in the sandbox.  And pretend you LIKE each other.
3d sandbox with valentines day love message
A very nice sandbox, indeed.

Oh, and how bout this?  ISSUE ONE BOND.  FOR THE ENTIRE EURO.   And if someone fucks up, ALL countries are on the hook, to prevent default.  Not just Germany.  One currency?  ONE BOND.  Easy peasy Japanesey.  Then all youz can row in the same direction.

Cause right now?  You're rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic, my friends.  AND YOU'RE GOING TO SINK ALL OF US.
You see?  Titanic. Sinking.  Europe!  DO NOT ABANDON SHIP.
Before it's too late.

This is what happens...when it's TOO LATE: 

So do us ALL a favor here and get your shit together, reconnoiter your system and PLAY NICE IN THE MO FO SANDBOX.

Otherwise, I'm telling MOM.  And you'll be in TROUBLE.

Cause Mama Said KNOCK YOU OUT.  Which we will do, GLADLY, if you do not stop fucking the world in the ass.  Cause this is what happens, Larry...


Please comply with our demands at your earliest convenience.  Thank you very much for your cooperation.


The United States of the World & Dogs Too XOXO
Fix the Titantic dickheads.  Otherwise, it's battleship time.
A FUN GAME, for sure  (but not so fun for you...)

PS. Don't forget: not gonna play nice in the sandbox?  You're gettin' punched in the face.  And YOU WON'T LIKE IT.  Cuz mama said knock you out, LL COOL J.  And the dude abides.
PPS: Don't call it a comeback.  I been here fo years.  Rockin my peers and puttin suckas in fear
Makin the tears rain down like a MON-soon, Listen to the bass go BOOM...
PPSS: Shotgun blasts are heard, When I rip and kill, at WILL, The man of the hour, tower of power, I'll devour, I'm gonna tie you up and let you understand, that I'm not your average man
when I got a jammy in my hand, DAAAAAM!!!!! Oooooohh!!
PPPS:  Don't u call this a regular jam, I'm gonna rock this land, I'm gonna take this itty bitty world by storm, And I'm just gettin warm 

PPS. Dog Speed<em>Dog is my copilot bumper sticker</em>

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