Monday, May 7, 2012

A Simple Request: Occupy Your Self Awareness and Sense of Direction. And Watch Where You're Going!

Occupy your Self Awareness and Sense of Direction. And freaking watch where you're going already! Cause Occupying your iPhone will lead directly to walking into walls and other hard objects. FYI.

Source of distraction numero UNO

An update on the Occupy my Blog movement on the MOVE, really shaking things up! Making waves, disrupting the current status quo. My fellow occupiers, you really deserve a round of applause. (not applesauce).  Together we are changing the social, emotional, functional, logical,and psychological landscape as we know it. And for that we should be PROUD. Please take this opportunity to give yourselves a pat on the back, cause you deserve it!

Which brings me to my next simple request: Occupy Your Self Direction and Self Awareness. Otherwise, you're headed straight for that brick wall. And no one likes running into brick walls. Including you.  Including me. (and every last lady) And you can consider me public offender número UNO (run into shit ALL god damn the time).

I mean, how many times have you found yourself almost running RIGHT
INTO the brick wall that occupies your outside space because YOU
weren't paying attention? Too busy occupying your iPhone or iPad to
bother with simple details such as whether the light is red or green
and what that may mean for your future, that may be cut very short as
a direct result of your acute ADD? HONEST answers please people. You
KNOW you've done it. And if you haven't you WILL. Mark my words...
Source of distraction numero dos

How many times were you soooo into your friend's text MSG about the
latest iteration of Carly Rae's "Call Me Maybe"video that you lost
yourself in the world of electronica, only to be rudely awakened by
that lamp post you've just walked right into in front of a hundred
other people. Good thing they were ALL occupying their own iPhone or
iPad lest they may have noticed your near brush with most embarrassing
moment of all time. Yep, thank God for that.

So my seemingly simple (yet not so much when you dig into the details)
request is to Occupy Your Self Direction. Cause mine (not mime) for
one, has gone to shit. And you better get the F outta my way, cause
I'm in a BIG rush to go to somewhere that I'm not really sure where is

So, my dear fellow occupiers, for the love of god, please occupy your
self direction and don't run into any walls. Mkay? Cause mine (not
MIME) could use some work and we most certainly don't need TWO of us
out on the streets. Wandering around on our iPhones like strangers in
an unholy land (FYI only lost because of our own utter laziness in not
being bothered to check the MAP function on our iPhones anymore
because, really, who has time for THAT when we are too busy updating
Facebook statuses and texting to give a shit whether we are walking
directly into oncoming traffic). These sidewalks aren't big enough for
the BOTH of us, my friends. Nope, not big enough for TWO of us not
paying one bit of attention to their general direction (in life or

So, follow by example, and follow THIS (not me actually, am public
offender no 1) but heed my advice and occupy your sense of direction.
Because otherwise how the F are we gonna know if we are on the right
track? (or any track for that matter)?

One thing's for sure, I most certainly WILL NOT. So SOMEONE has to.
And that someone is now YOU. I now choose to outsource this function
to you, my fellow occupiers. So, Dog speed.

Happy Occupying! Over and out for now. More updates to
follow...(unless I'm too lost to even send for help since am too
preoccupied with the newest version of angry birds to care...and
therefore revert to homeless status by default...a DISTINCT
possibility at this point...just saying...)
Sent from my iPad

PS. One More Request: Change Your Life (Tho not necessarily for the better) with Call Me Maybe.  Catch it, RIGHT HERE.  And become an addict, like me.  Be sure to watch the video too.  Priceless. (tho NOT while you're crossing the street.  Leave that move to me, please)

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