Sunday, May 20, 2012

A Simple Reqest: Occupy Your Occupation and Mind Your Own Business Please

Get_a_Room  Occupy Your Occupation.  Cause yours truly most certainly is NOT fo much least one I'm not passionate about.  Gotta Job?  Here a Job, there a Job, Everywhere A Job Job…Occupy shit outta it.  Or you’re gonna get FIRED (new Facebook status SOON) 
Don’t Say I didn’t Warn Ya…

Because I most certainly am NOT (hot).  Sorry but PC load letter & TPS reports no longer = to my style.  I Liked it for a while.  But these days it’s no longer coolio.  For the love of GOD and your own MOTHER, DO something (someone) you LOVE already.  And quit while you’re ahead.

An Update on the OCCUPY MY BLOG Movement on THE MOVE: My dear occupying friends, you REALLY need to stand up and take a bow, cause you ROCK.  With your socks OFF (and other things, but I digress) Together, my friends, we are changing the astronomical, physiological, geometrical, physical, digital, and political landscape as we know it.  And for that, we should be PROUD.  So take a bow, you follower you.  You deserve it!

Which brings me to the next iteration of the Occupy my Blog Movement taking FLIGHT.  Occupy your Occupation people.  Otherwise, you’re getting fired.  And yours truly may be First on the firing squad (of myself).  Cause, guess WHAT?  PC load letter is no longer my style.  Who’s a bit tired O updating TPS reports and dealing with PC load letter?  Yours truly, that’s who…tired to the extreme.

Fuck investing in distressed assets (not asses people minds outta gutter), although it IS the RIGHT time to invest in them (ASSETS, not asses).  They ARE hot to trot (assets AND asses in this case).  However, an alternative MAY be to invest in ME!  Cause guess what?  Who’s gonna make more money, not to mention art and FUN (of), for ya?  ME.  ME. And ME.  Yep, yours truly is DEDICATED! To not having a job.  Apparently my subconscious is working on getting fired, one day at a time.  Start me up and start up your OWN business (latest trend, FYI).  Got TONS of biz ideas and the right one will FLY.  Mark my words…

Hey YOUZ...Guess what?  YOU'RE Fired.  Donald Trump style...

I mean, how many times have you had a difficult time PRETENDING to care about the number of pieces of flair it takes to impress the MAN enough to be pleased with your work?  Just tell us HOW MANY, and we'll wear 'em OK?  We're over being cheerleaders for causes we are not passionate about.  Next up are those that we absolutely ADORE and would do anything for.  Cause remember, when our heart's not in our work, people think you're a jerk (I rhyme now, LIKE it? lol)

I mean, does anyone really care about the meeting called for a mo fo meeting about a meeting about a meeting?  I'm thinking not so much.  How many meetings do YOU attend where EVERY person in there is on their blackberry and not paying one BIT of attention to what's being said or done?  Whelp, hey guess what people?  If YOU don't care, I DON'T CARE EITHER.   I look outta the mo fo window, I FILE MY NAILS, I COULD GIVE TWO SHITS people.  QUIT ACTING LIKE I DO.  Cause I DON’T.  Nope, not one motha fucking bit.  (brings out my turretts I cannot spell to the extreme, which YOU cannot make fun of cause it's politically incorrect and NOT NICE) Christsake, care to speak to us?  Schedule a meeting cause we're all booked up here.  Care to DO YOUR JOB?  Yes? THINK AGAIN.  You’re stuck in meetings all day.  No time for work, meetings ONLY.

I mean, when did it become OKAY to NOT do your job?  Sorry but I did NOT get the memo.  At what point did I start feeling inclined to THANK Duane Reade employees PROFUSELY for assisting me in locating the pet food aisle?  Like they went out of their WAY and didn't HAVE to take my payment at the register.  How many times have you felt like reaching through the phone and STRANGLING the Verizon Wireless A-hole on the other line who says you have to go into a STORE because they can't help you over the phone after waiting a HALF HOUR to speak to them?  How many?  Too many.

I mean, ask me to do something (or someone LOL) I DO IT.  Like it’s MY JOB.  Cause it IS FYI.  Apparently, that no longer flies around the corporate counter-culture.  Apparently, my friends, we are ALL about appearances, not results.  Got it?  CYA peeps, CYA.  That’s on tap today…Didn’t get the memo?  Too bad.  Schedule a meeting to discuss.  We’ll discuss the shit outta it.

Something goes wrong in Corporate America?  Our motto is: NOT MY FAULT and let's discuss at the next meeting so we can all collectively not solve the problem but blame someone else and move onto creating the next problem.  Problem compounders ova here.  And we are ALL collectively at fault, not just a select few of US.  Just saying...

How bout this: You don’t do your job, and I won’t do mine (not mime).
I’m saying peeps, NO ONE wants to talk distressed assets (NOT ASSES) altho they SHOULD (good time to invest peeps).  What DO they wanna rap about?  WELL, ANYTHING really. My improv shows, my blog, my roof, ANYTHING.  Bong hits, smoking cigs, any mother fucking thing besides biznass.  Mind (not MIME) your own FYI.  

SO NOW repeat after ME, “FUCK THIS SHIT”.  Cause we R over doing things we aren't so passionate about we'd run out onto the street, spiked heels in hand, wearing lipstick as warpaint to create flash mobs of angry women, WHO'VE HAD IT with men putting down our lack of pantyhose, ugly men's style suits and manicures.  Who's OVER being a pretty piece of eye candy who's not supposed to have an opinion on whether it is appropriate to THROW your computer against the wall to fix it when it's crash for the 18th time that day?  THIS one, that's who.  You should be too (men included, cause lemme tell ya, if you COULD wear lipstick and high heels to work, you prolly would...just saying)

PC load letter, Office Space style and doing a JAILBREAK very fukkin soon people.  Got a meeting with the Bob’s on Monday.  So YOU are hereby required to Occupy your Occupation cause yours truly most certainly is NOT from this day forward.  Nope.  Not one bit…

Office Space Poster
Occupy it UP Buttercup!  Occupy your Occupation with a vengeance.  Only way to do it is with PASSION.  And passion cannot be faked (for long)

I’m outsourcing that fake passion function to YOU my dear Occupying friends.  And while you’re at it, pay my rent, please?  Hahaha (not really kidding). DOG SPEED!

Happy Occupying!  Over and out for now.  More to follow (unless I’m murdered by pirates…only time will tell…)
Because, after all, no one gets FAMOUS by accident.  Unless you piss me off.  Then you’re famous RIGHT HERE in the blogosphere.  For being a dick.  Lmfao   Surprise!  You’re a douche.  Surprised?  Nope, I’m not.  Plenty O people suffering from douchiopath personality disorder these days.  Gonna be a douchiopath anonymous support group SOON.  12 steps.  Allow me to cure you people.  Help me help you be a better douche.  I can help J LOL. 

So, GO ahead, BE that brick in the wall.  Like Pink Floyd.  I’m not said brick...I THROW bricks (different story altogether) just sayin’.  See below (not blow).  Peace out, that’s a rap :)

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